My solemn summer vacation pledge

This summer, I promise not to waste a single minute of my time on the beach reading the amateurish prose of Dan Brown. No matter who hands me one of his trashy, cliché-ridden tomes.

I long for a summer free of having to endure the hackneyed phrases, implausible plots and formulaic storylines. Begone, O talentless scribe! Never again will I wince as you clobber me over the head with another “secret” gem of knowledge that any half-witted liberal arts student would know. Never again will I roll my eyes and sigh as you state the obvious, then repeat it two pages later.

Seriously, I have no problem with the alternative views of religion his novels explore. Most of them are not “new” ideas anyway. In fact I think it’s healthy to challenge traditional belief systems. Or even just to wonder: “What if?”

What I object to is bad writing. There is absolutely no excuse for that.